This Eid al Adha I have not been honoured to give the Khutbah. But I still have an Eid message for those of you who care to listen.
Many of the khatibs would be rightly saying today that these dates are especially good to be kind to our family and friends, that we should maintain the family ties and that we should forget our grievances.
There is no argument with that, but I would like to add something that very few would probably be saying.
We men should be brave enough to love our women and to celebrate womanhood. To truly and honestly love them. Nowhere is written how that has to be because there is not a way that it should be.
There is a lot that has been written about this subject. We could quote Islamic and western scholars and intellectuals stressing the importance of this. But we still underestimate it.
There are many problems that the world is facing today, and there are many more specific to the Muslim community, the Ummah. The source of most, if not all of them, is the lack of love, of real love and intimacy, between a man and a woman.
The highest form of love is the love of the Divine, but Allah has placed metaphors in creation so that we can understand what does not pertain to this world. A man can not Love God, can not trust in him completely, can not give himself entirely to him, if he does not know the love of a woman. If he has not loved a woman and has given himself to her, truly and completely, without holding back. The Prophet, peace be upon him, died in the arms of Aisha.
A man that loves a woman is free. A man that is free is not fearful of anything but God. A man that is not fearful can build and create anything because it will do it out of love. A family, a community, a city, a kingdom. The rest is politics.
And while we live in the world of politics, we should strive to get out of it, quickly, before there is no world left. The rules are there to be used when there is a problem, not to create the norm.
As for women, I can not speak for them, but what I have been able to glimpse, is that a woman that is truly loved is fulfilled, is grateful, is content and is free.
What I have written here will be better said in a poem:
Once you asked me if I loved you,
Yes I said
Without a second thought.
But upon a second thought,
I did not.
Or I did,
But in the way that I thought
One ought to love.
But love has no should.
Love is no loyalty,
Truth or honesty.
And honesty a lie.
Love is death to all,
But the lovers.
Love ought to be banned,
Made illegal and proscribed.
Except for the lovers.
You know who you are.
You are free.
While the rest of us
Are dragging the chains
Of what we call love.